Fabrizio: It’s an outrage! Calandra: Oh Fabrizio, dear, don’t be worried... F: By God! It’s the Derby della Madonnina, and we’re under 0-2 at half time. How can I not be worried? C: Let’s just appreciate the fact you’re here with me! It’s like we haven’t seen each other since we married... F: Oh Calandra... C: Have a little faith in your team-mates. F: You’re right. I feel... (he tries to stand up) C: Careful..! F: If I can’t join them on the pitch... then at least I can support them through song.

F: The red-and-black, men of old Milano, build us an era that will never end! The red-and-black, men of old Milano, leave us an honour we'll forever tend!

F: The red... C: That’s very sweet, dear, I think they’ve gotten the point. F: So you’re, like, a better singer than me, huh? Oh, right... C: That reminds me... Are you going to attend a performance of La Traviata tonight? I’m the prima donna! F: I... I, um... C: With you injured, it’s not like you can join your team mates after a game like you always do! F: Look at how beautiful..! Look at how beautiful you are! C: Oh, Fabrizio! Do you even appreciate my art?! F: I… No. I don’t. I hate opera. Opera is for the upper class. I’m working class, so I’m not supposed to like it. C: Then why did you marry me?? F: I...I don’t remember! C: For my looks, you swine! You could have had all the bimbos in the world, but you get someone infinitely better, and this is how you treat her? My scarf... where is my scarf? F: I’m sorry, can we... C: You just missed ten penalties in a row, "dear"! F: Now, that’s just... C: Besides, that’s what you always do in bed. F: Now, look! (falls over) C: Don’t touch me! Oh, wait... F: Look, can we talk this over? And quickly, since... the match is about to start... C: I’m not talking to you! I’m going to work at La Scala, and I’m never coming back! (Fabrizio finds her purse) F: Your purse. C: Have you seen my purse? F: No. C: You useless piece of... And this, now when I’m about to leave for work! How, Fabrizio, how am I going to be able to play... Mimi! ...tonight, the epitome of virginal innocence, when I know there are men like you around! Woe is me! Oh! (Fabrizio opens her purse and finds her diary) C: Fabrizio! Do you hear me?! F: "Dear Diary. Woke up this morning beside this incredibly gorgeous man. He says we’re married, so I played along as I thought it was a dream, but it turns out it is true. Truth be told, I don’t remember ever marrying this man, but I checked his bank account, and it told me to stay." C: Alright. So this is what it’s going to be. Fine. Yes, I may not know much about football, but I do know one thing... F: What is this…?

C: We boast for good reason, we boast for who we are! We boast for those that carries off another golden star! Mess with the black-and-blue and you shan't get very far! Passionate! Exceptional! International!

F: You...! You treacherous wench! An Inter supporter! In my house! This is the devils work! No wonder the boys were suspicious! Leave me alone, devil! Go to work! C: Who cares about work, when you can watch your boys crush Milan 3-0! F: Nooo!! That evil smirk - I saw it, after each goal... but I never imagined... Actually I’ve seen it before... Why did we get married? It’s quite hot, you know. C: How could you think of such a thing in a situation like this! F: Me? About you? I’ll tell you what I think of you! You prance around, never failing to wear those stupid scarves whatever the weather! C: Oh, apart from the red and black ones you wear, with your name on it? F: Ha! If you’d worn them, you wouldn’t be lying in the bed every other day, saying "oh, my throat, I’ll have to stay in today", pretending you’re sick. C: Says you! F: Well, now I really am injured! And what when you run to the director when you’re... unhappy about a decision. What I mean is... C: It’s all the same with you singers and dancers and actors! Well, you’re a better actor than I am! F: Oh? Too bad you’re the one stuck following stupid libretti. In my art, we’re free. C: Apart from the match-fixing, ey? F: Now that’s just...! How many prima donnas does it take to change a light bulb? C: What. F: One to hold the light bulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around her! C: Dear, we can’t lower ourselves to simply throwing jokes at each other. F: You’re right.

(both jump for each others diaries) F: "Today, I joined Alessandra in some window shopping at Quadrilatero d’Oro..." Ha! Posh! C: "I told Calandra I’d join the guys tonight, as I usually do, but I had other plans..." Ha! Liar! F: "...but I managed to sneak away from her, and got myself to Quarto Oggiaro without anyone noticing." C: "...as it was time to visit mamma in Brera. I usually avoid it even when I’m in Corso Como." F: "It has been a long time since I was in my room. I found my old football and the Carolina Morace posters. I would have loved to join her, but when you’re better at singing..." C: "I saw my old opera vocal scores. The last scraps of the family fortune went into that rubbish. Too bad I couldn’t sing after all, but at least now I can support my family..." F: "Papà was shocked to hear that I had married, but he was overjoyed when I told him he’s a Milan player." C: "Even so, mamma hasn’t been truly proud of me until I told her the news. "At least you’ve married well" she said." F: "And I agree with him. Fabrizio is a gift from above." C: "And I agree wholeheartedly. Calandra is a beam from the heavens." F: This isn’t right. C: I remember! F: Yes! C: I remember why we got married! C: It wasn’t my looks or your money... The first time we met, we fought, just like now, and that’s when we realized we were meant for each other, and we married the day after... I guess everything is OK, then... F: No, it’s not. Stay! C: But I’ll be late! F: Sing for me! C: But the match? F: I don’t care! Calandra - if you love me, then you’ll sing for me.

C: If you pick my favourite fruit, if you say my voice is cute, if you make my life seem like the sweetest wonderland... If you understand? F: I do. C: I will be the one to turn your chiave (key), always making sure your life is never a bore. Comfort you when things are looking grave. Sharing our lives as we swore. If we find a way to be together, mutual respect for all the things that we are. If we find a way to live where both can be a star! I am sure we'll see that no one else can even start to use the spell that made the pair we are!

Fabrizio: It’s an outrage! Calandra: Oh Fabrizio, dear, don’t be worried... F: By God! It’s the Derby della Madonnina, and we’re under 0-2 at half time. How can I not be worried? C: Let’s just appreciate the fact you’re here with me! It’s like we haven’t seen each other since we married... F: Oh Calandra... C: Have a little faith in your team-mates. F: You’re right. I feel... (he tries to stand up) C: Careful..! F: If I can’t join them on the pitch... then at least I can support them through song. The red-and-black, men of old Milano, build us an era that will never end! The red-and-black, men of old Milano, leave us an honour we'll forever tend! F: The red... C: That’s very sweet, dear, I think they’ve gotten the point. F: So you’re, like, a better singer than me, huh? Oh, right... C: That reminds me... Are you going to attend a performance of La Traviata tonight? I’m the prima donna! F: I... I, um... C: With you injured, it’s not like you can join your team mates after a game like you always do! F: Look at how beautiful..! Look at how beautiful you are! C: Oh, Fabrizio! Do you even appreciate my art?! F: I… No. I don’t. I hate opera. Opera is for the upper class. I’m working class, so I’m not supposed to like it. C: Then why did you marry me?? F: I...I don’t remember! C: For my looks, you swine! You could have had all the bimbos in the world, but you get someone infinitely better, and this is how you treat her? My scarf... where is my scarf? F: I’m sorry, can we... C: You just missed ten penalties in a row, "dear"! F: Now, that’s just... C: Besides, that’s what you always do in bed. F: Now, look! (falls over) C: Don’t touch me! Oh, wait... F: Look, can we talk this over? And quickly, since... the match is about to start... C: I’m not talking to you! I’m going to work at La Scala, and I’m never coming back! (Fabrizio finds her purse) F: Your purse. C: Have you seen my purse? F: No. C: You useless piece of... And this, now when I’m about to leave for work! How, Fabrizio, how am I going to be able to play... Mimi! ...tonight, the epitome of virginal innocence, when I know there are men like you around! Woe is me! Oh! (Fabrizio opens her purse and finds her diary) C: Fabrizio! Do you hear me?! F: "Dear Diary. Woke up this morning beside this incredibly gorgeous man. He says we’re married, so I played along as I thought it was a dream, but it turns out it is true. Truth be told, I don’t remember ever marrying this man, but I checked his bank account, and it told me to stay." C: Alright. So this is what it’s going to be. Fine. Yes, I may not know much about football, but I do know one thing... F: What is this…? C: We boast for good reason, we boast for who we are! We boast for those that carries off another golden star! Mess with the black-and-blue and you shan't get very far! Passionate! Exceptional! International! F: You...! You treacherous wench! An Inter supporter! In my house! This is the devils work! No wonder the boys were suspicious! Leave me alone, devil! Go to work! C: Who cares about work, when you can watch your boys crush Milan 3-0! F: Nooo!! That evil smirk - I saw it, after each goal... but I never imagined... Actually I’ve seen it before... Why did we get married? It’s quite hot, you know. C: How could you think of such a thing in a situation like this! F: Me? About you? I’ll tell you what I think of you! You prance around, never failing to wear those stupid scarves whatever the weather! C: Oh, apart from the red and black ones you wear, with your name on it? F: Ha! If you’d worn them, you wouldn’t be lying in the bed every other day, saying "oh, my throat, I’ll have to stay in today", pretending you’re sick. C: Says you! F: Well, now I really am injured! And what when you run to the director when you’re... unhappy about a decision. What I mean is... C: It’s all the same with you singers and dancers and actors! Well, you’re a better actor than I am! F: Oh? Too bad you’re the one stuck following stupid libretti. In my art, we’re free. C: Apart from the match-fixing, ey? F: Now that’s just...! How many prima donnas does it take to change a light bulb? C: What. F: One to hold the light bulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around her! C: Dear, we can’t lower ourselves to simply throwing jokes at each other. F: You’re right. (both jump for each others diaries) F: "Today, I joined Alessandra in some window shopping at Quadrilatero d’Oro..." Ha! Posh! C: "I told Calandra I’d join the guys tonight, as I usually do, but I had other plans..." Ha! Liar! F: "...but I managed to sneak away from her, and got myself to Quarto Oggiaro without anyone noticing." C: "...as it was time to visit mamma in Brera. I usually avoid it even when I’m in Corso Como." F: "It has been a long time since I was in my room. I found my old football and the Carolina Morace posters. I would have loved to join her, but when you’re better at singing..." C: "I saw my old opera vocal scores. The last scraps of the family fortune went into that rubbish. Too bad I couldn’t sing after all, but at least now I can support my family..." F: "Papà was shocked to hear that I had married, but he was overjoyed when I told him he’s a Milan player." C: "Even so, mamma hasn’t been truly proud of me until I told her the news. "At least you’ve married well" she said." F: "And I agree with him. Fabrizio is a gift from above." C: "And I agree wholeheartedly. Calandra is a beam from the heavens." F: This isn’t right. C: I remember! F: Yes! C: I remember why we got married! C: It wasn’t my looks or your money... The first time we met, we fought, just like now, and that’s when we realized we were meant for each other, and we married the day after... I guess everything is OK, then... F: No, it’s not. Stay! C: But I’ll be late! F: Sing for me! C: But the match? F: I don’t care! Calandra - if you love me, then you’ll sing for me. C: If you pick my favourite fruit, if you say my voice is cute, if you make my life seem like the sweetest wonderland... If you understand? F: I do. C: I will be the one to turn your chiave (key), always making sure your life is never a bore. Comfort you when things are looking grave. Sharing our lives as we swore. If we find a way to be together, mutual respect for all the things that we are. If we find a way to live where both can be a star! I am sure we'll see that no one else can even start to use the spell that made the pair we are!